Whispering in your ear
Feeling the warmth of your face against mine
The shared smile
The tender look
Of adolescent love
Whereby everything was unspoken, unadorned
On the thrill of snatched moments
And its icy surface
Suspended above the cauldron of desire.
Can it have been?
Do I conflate
And cajole the past
To glorify some lost Arcadian creed?
But I remember
The permanent erection
Dazed by the unconsummated lust.
You never faltered
In your desire to leave me suspended
And I was not wise enough
To ask the words
That would bring
Joy or rejection.
I revoked the softness of your skin
Its peaches and cream
The dark hair that spiked all your movements
But not the regret
That I never lay in your arms.
In the end
The howl begat some peace
The dry, glottal stop
And the bare tolerance of my love
Wiped away all the bitter tears.
Gar Jones: February 2017